Shawn and I are not big fans of Valentine’s Day. We both think it is kind of silly, and is a “Hallmark Holiday”. While other couples celebrated Valentine’s Day at expensive restaurants, or on a mini-vacation, we decided that the way we wanted to spend Valentine’s Day was to play Diablo III.

Shawn’s Barbarian, Smashez, is at level 25. (But, Shawn thought he was still at level 23). ThirtySeven, my Demon Hunter, started out at level 25. The last time we played together, we ran through the crypts in the Cemetery of the Forsaken specifically to test out Monster Power in an area that I was familiar with. Previous to that, we were somewhere in the Zoltun Kulle chain of quests.

We both downloaded patch 1.0.7 right before we started playing. This is the patch that introduced Brawling. To do it, the first thing you need to do is be in a city. Look for Nek the Brawler. He will be in the main towns.

He talks to you about Brawling. It reminds me of Fight Club.

Nek the Brawler: Some heroes are fighting each other in an area near here. Want to go?

Nek the Brawler: Oh, and ya didn’t hear about it from me.

The first rule of brawling is….

Nek has other words of wisdom to share.

Nek the Brawler: Afraid of damaging your armor or weapons? That won’t happen over there.

Nek the Brawler: In fact, no one ever dies. Disappointing, really.

Tell Nek the Brawler that you want to go brawl, and he sends you there, with some encouraging words.

Nek the Brawler: Ah, punch one for me.

Just like that, Smashez and ThirtySeven were in the Scorched Chapel!

This is incredibly fun for a while! Soon, we learned that Barbarians seem to be at a disadvantage, because they have to get in range before they can do any damage. (Unless they are a “Throwing Barb”). My Demon Hunter could throw down a trap, leap out of the way, and not get hit.

As a result, I won every brawl. In the process, I learned that you can drop a Sentry Totem next to the other player’s corpse, and it will start shooting the instant they revive. It won’t be long until people start complaining that the DH is overpowered in Brawling.

We explored the Scorched Chapel, just to see what was in it. There is a portal that will take you back to town when you are done Brawling. Sadly, there are no chests in the Scorched Chapel. (I was hoping there would be.)

Breath of Life: Resurrect other players 25 times in cooperative games.

No, I didn’t do all 25 of the resurrects in the Scorched Chapel.

It became very clear that gear had a lot to do with a player’s success (or failure) in the Scorched Chapel. To test this out, we decided to have Smashez beat up on ThirtySeven until she died, without her fighting back. Smashez would strike… some hit points would disappear, and half would return before he could make his next hit. ThirtySeven has a lot of gear that automatically regenerates life after a certain number of seconds, etc. This was a huge advantage.

Eventually, ThirtySeven died. Here’s what it looks like when that happens.

We decided to leave the Scorched Chapel and go back to searching for the body parts of Zoltun Kulle. Nek the Brawler was right – your weapons and armor don’t take any damage from Brawling. You come out the same as you were when you went in.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, here’s where Nek the Brawler hangs out if you move to the Hidden Camp.

The next thing we did absolutely affected our weapons and armor. We took the checkpoint to Desolate Sands, and were instantly attacked by a big mob of really angry monsters. WTF? Oh, right. It was then that we realized that we had set the game to Monster Power 10, (when we were testing out Monster Power in the Crypts). Oops!

The checkpoint was much less volatile at Monster Power zero. It was empty. That was more suitable for tonight’s gaming.

Deep Pockets: Pick up 500,000 gold.

Treasure Goblin! Get ’em!

Rapid Fire – Kills bugs dead!

Malice the Ghastly

Scaros Chompfang

Massacre of the Damned: Kill 500 elite (champion, rare, or unique) enemies in cooperative games.


What’s this? Archon armor plans? That’s new (and expensive)!

Ding! ThirtySeven is now level 26!

Unexpectedly, Smashez and ThirtySeven came across an NPC named Lyndo.

Lyndo: This portal has made many rich, but it killed my brother Garot when he used it. I am too frightened to risk my life trying again. Use it if you dare.

Lyndo runs away. There lies the body of Garot. A satchel is on the ground near his body. The satchel contains Lyndo’s journal.

Lyndo’s Journal: We have found the key to the ancient device, but I fear that these treasures will cost us our lives. At least my brother and I have made it this far, and we are still alive. Dare we use this machine?

Should we go inside? Shawn and I decided to give it a try. Little did we know, this was part of a rare event. We had stumbled upon the Fowl Lair!

…Ain’t Nobody here but us chickens….Ain’t nobody here at all…

Hmm…chickens…Fowl Lair… Good one, Blizzard!

You can’t target (or kill) any of the chickens. However, you can click on (and kill) the one Greasy Pig that is inside the Fowl Lair. It drops loot and gold.

This is where we were when we found the Fowl Lair. Obviously, since Diablo 3 has a lot of randomness build into it, it could appear in a completely different place in your game.

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